NOT a BEACH BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST.
Once I was happily spewing my rage for bicyclists when one overheard me. He interrupted my conversation and spent five minutes telling me lame bicycle stories that infuriated me more, then told me that only the irresponsible cyclists ruin it for the majority.
Listen man, I hate all bikes and I hate all cyclists on the open road. I hate bikes in subways, taking up my room. I hate spandex. I hate the hipster-bicycle connection. I hate cyclists on campus. I hate the bike racks and the bike passes. I hate people who don’t tie up their bikes and leave it next to the door of Bruff, waiting for me to pick it up and throw it into the fucking road (where it should not be unless it is getting run over (without a cyclist on it) (unless he/she is a nazi)). I hate the righteous attitude cyclists get about “sharing the road.” I hate cyclists who are trying to save the environment.
Get with the times. You’re a dying and loathed race. Disappear.
wowzers, this is kind of harsh. most of the people I know who ride bikes don’t really fit anywhere into the categories you mentioned. a large reason that I ride my bike anywhere is because I don’t have a lot of money so I avoid driving my car whenever I can. another is because, in the city, especially during certain parts of the day, I can get somewhere quicker than anyone in a car can. another is because riding your bike just feels really good. I’m sure you rode bikes with friends at least sometimes when growing up and remember how good it feels to ride with your pals to a place you don’t even really have to go to.
a friend of mine named adam just moved to indianapolis from muncie (I don’t know where you’re from but muncie is a college town surrounded mostly by rural counties.) and is staying with another friend of ours. he just found a job near his place in fountain square. transportation-wise, he’s had a van for a while but it’s pretty crummy and there are some problems with him driving it. he doesn’t have a title for some reason or another, among other things. as for buses in the area, I tried to depend on them for a week or so once but they’re few and far between. a real hassle. anyways, he usually tries to get rides to work but when he doesn’t he has to walk the three or four miles. not a huge amount of walking, but pretty uncomfortable when it’s getting colder. also, kind of a time-waster. recently, though, he got a hold of a bike! it’s really small for him but it’ll have to do. he’s been riding it now and can get to work in fifteen minutes or so. he doesn’t ever need to depend on rides for work now. he’s been getting things for his van together so he can sell it and buy a bike that’s actually his size. he’s going to sell his crappy van for an awesome bike. he doesn’t know, though, that his friends are collecting money to buy him an awesome bike for christmas, before he needs to sell his van.
here’s one thing that sucks - someday, adam a few of us will be riding down to first friday or something. we’ll enjoy ourselves, feel the warm wind, see the sights, chit-chat, stuff like that. then we’ll get to one of the galleries, lock up at a sign or something and head in, have a good time. then maybe that night, on the way home, a person in a car who wants to turn right will see that we’re turning right also. they’ll realize that they don’t have time to zoom ahead of us on our bikes and they’ll have to slow down behind us. we’ll put this person like five seconds behind schedule. they’ll see all of us, including adam with his awesome christmas bike, and they’ll think to themselves “I HATE ALL BIKES AND I HATE ALL CYCLISTS ON THE OPEN ROAD.”
I also don’t like some cyclists. but it’s because they’re pricks, not because they’re cyclists. I could either generalize and say that I dislike anyone that drives a hummer. or I could, more specifically, say that I dislike pretentious, selfish dudes that throw their money away and treat women badly.
so there’s that. eh, whatever. cyclists aren’t a dying race, though. you can look forward to loathsomely shaking your fist for years to come.
when I’m chatting with someone online, I often abandon apostrophes. when I am meaning to type -youre-and accidentally drop the ‘e’ because I just didn’t press the key as hard as I needed to - I feel so ashamed. even if it is just for a second until I backspace and add the ‘e’.
A GOOD SEASON FOR FIRSTS
- the first mounted deer head I’ve acquired.
- the first time I’ve bleached my beard hair for fun.
- the first christmas that every gift I am giving is made by me.
- the first filmed video tour of my house.
- the first time I played at indy alliance.
- the first time a friend gave me $100 as a gift of love.
- I just yawned so hard that I got a neck cramp.
pretty sure that’s never happened to me before. - the first time I watched youtube on a televisio
there’s surely so much more to come.
I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING I WAS PLANNING TO DO TODAY. INSTEAD, I'M ONLY EATING PEPTO BISMOL TABLETS.
MY STOMACH HURTS.
I like this so much that I almost can’t breathe
amyyy: !!!!
randomitus
jesuisperdu
KIDS IN THE HALL. YES, AWESOME. NOT BEING ABLE TO SCREEN CAPTURE WHEN THE DVD PROGRAM IS OPEN. NO, NOT AWESOME.
(scott thompson) mother: [sniff] oh my! [sniff] you smell like a brewery!
(bruce mcculloch) father: uh-oh! uh-oh! you're grounded.
(dave foley) son: huh! well, you bought me the beer!
mother: what, gordon? he's only sixteen and you bought him beer?
father: what? you're only sixteen!? you're cut off, mister!
mother: oh geez, why don't you just cut out my heart and put it in the bird feeder? huh? you might as well. I mean, you know? it just- it doesn't-
father: oh, fran, really, all it was was a few.. dozen beer. I mean a ... a boy should know how to drink!
mother: oh? did you get him a hooker too? a boy should know how to - you know.
some day, I want to walk through a door labelled bathroom and see a room with one bathtub and a shelf of spices and bath beads.
some day, I want to walk through a door labelled restroom and see dim lighting and large fluffy beds and couches.
